Intangible Rewards

There is much to be said about managing people.

When I stepped into the role of a Team Head some years ago, I had many ideas and a great desire to do good and help my people.

Yet as altruistic as I was, all the things I did driven by my good intentions came to not much. Not the late nights, not the pep talks, not the coaching, not the micro managing, and so on...

What a difference being a mother made.

Perhaps it is when I had to go on sudden medical leave during pregnancy that forced me to let go more and trust my team. Perhaps it is my maternal instincts making me go soft....or now having family commitments, I start to empathise more.

Ian - even when he was only in my tummy - already brought me much joy and learning. Now watching him grow so quickly day by day, I see some inkling of how it all ties together.

God is so wonderful... he goes slow with me and teaches me at my level. He doesn't tell me I should I should.... He just gently guides me along. From my struggles managing my team and managing people, to giving me a child I never had the courage to plan for, to placing me back as a Team Head with such a different style, God's is so steady. I myself can feel the difference in my engagement with my people. I feel energized by my interactions with them. I feel satisfied when I fight for them and win for them. I feel honoured being in a position to influence and to guide and to help. I feel happy more than tired.

Occasionally, when times are tough, I imagine like I'm Moses... wanting to help, bring the people out of Egypt, only to be stuck at the Red Sea. But that is where the miracle comes...even while the Egyptian armies are in hot pursuit and closing in, Moses lifted his hands, and the Red Sea comes apart. There and then, in the midst of the troubles, God will show up at just the right time. All I have to do is trust and rest.

Now that I'm on board with God, not questioning him so much on why I should be, or should I be, leading a team, I also feel He is preparing me in my journey as a mummy.

Just as I never thought I would have job fulfillment today as a team head, I had doubts over my ability to bring up my children and thus delayed committing even having them. But today, thanks to my God, I have great caretakers in form of my parents, an ernest maid, a participative husband, a great boss, a reliable biz mgr deputising me...really very grateful...hopefully the learnings I gained as a team manager will help me be a better mother, and vice versa...

Thank you Jesus!