Time just passes very fast when doing the things we love.... this past week Hubby & I took leave to hang out with our baby, in the absence of my parents. Though we did not plan any family trips in the end, I was still looking forward to doing our nuclear family things....mundane things like swishing around in the pool with baby, roaming shopping centres with baby, trying out eateries with baby.
We managed to cover many to-dos. On our first visit to the zoo in more than 20 years, I eagerly signed us up as members, believing that we will (will we?) be visiting the animals frequently with Ian and cover every show, every feed time, every walk they have to offer. We also tried picnic at Botanic Gardens for half an hour - during which Ian hopped, lunged, shrieked throughout his dinner feed - before Glenn hastily packed us up for home. All 3 of us were tired, sweaty, damp with drizzle, saliva and porridge bits. But tremendously content and looking forward to the next picnic.
I do wonder if perhaps Ian is just at the cute stage now and we have not reached the terror toddler times. And then I remember when I was baby-less, I was also put off by the commitment of having to feed and soothe and care for a baby, and look how different it is actually walking the journey.
It took awhile for me to realise that actually God had already wired in me the things that would make me love parenting, particularly my Input and Learner strengths. Parenting is parallel to management in many ways. Both are unpredictable and requires mental and emotional investment. Often the results you want are not achieved by bulldozing but by flowing through each twist and turn. It calls for creativity to figure out different ways to one goal, patience to sit tight and wait for right timing, courage to go ahead even when the ahead seems challenging, and humility to accept that what you think is not always right, or how it will turn out.
For me, parenting and management require regular doses of God's wisdom and anointing. After > 2 years of personally struggling to be a manager, I recently had a personal revelation that God didn't set me out on this journey of management with a fully equipped toolbox. He didn't (like what I initially thought) zap into me everything I need to be great in my job when I started out, I just had to go back to the toolbox to find the right stuff. Instead, God set me out with barely anything packed. I was to just trust Him that He will be there when I need Him and go forth! If I meet a poisionous snake there (and I have, figuratively speaking), He will dispense something for it. If I run out of water, He will squeeze water even from a rock for me. That is God's way, so I wont have to carry so much baggage the entire journey, and also learn to trust Him for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
I tried this method at work in managing my team, and the results were so much more fulfilling both tangibly in our numbers and intangibly in our relationships. Like they say, a minute of God's favour is worth many hours of labour. In a way, I know God is working through my team to prepare me for parenting and whatever lies ahead.
If this is how God does it, there's nothing for me to do really, except to just flow with and lean on Abba. That is probably why I feel blessed and fulfilled and loving each day I have being Ian's mummy.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Taiwan Without Him
We finally made the decision to go Taiwan....sans baby.
It wasn't an easy one for me to make. Mums constantly feel responsible for their children's well being in every aspect. And Ian always prefers me over everyone else (which I secretly enjoy! Haha) so I feel even more compelled to consider bringing him there. My gynae Dr Ang told me it's worth the trouble cos "you'll have lots of memories of that first trip"....
However for my husband, it was a straightforward decision. It was from one Sunday when we brought Ian to church with us and he couldnt sit still for even half a minute. And another time when we brought Ian to dinner with friends at Seafood Paradise, and he couldnt sit still for even half a minute, where Ian also sucked Glenn's iPhone and where Ian dipped his hand into the mango pudding, spilling half of it and smearing the residue on his clothes. Glenn concluded that Ian will be staying put in Singapore with his grandparents.
Actually, the most important consideration was that I know Ian will be well taken care of for that 3 days. By his doting grandparents, by my responsible helper, and most of all, by God Himself who is the One behind the scenes even when I'm around. This blessed and comprehensive support we have really freed us to go ahead.
Of course, every night we end up missing Ian, scrolling through our iPhones' photo albums and videos from 1st to last. Rarely do I look forward to heading home from a holiday. I kept imagining how Ian will react seeing me after 3 days' absence - will he squeal in delight or will he cry and chide me for leaving him behind?
That night, settling to bed back at home, I spoke into my little darling's ear "Mummy's back home, missed you so much...Muak." The following morning, he awoke to find both of us back on his left and right, snoozing away as usual. He poked at my back till I woke and upon turning around to face him, he just smiled his wide cheeky Mummy-I-love-you smile. He did the same to Glenn.
And thus we were reunited and life immediately went back to our normal and mundane, but tremendously sweet and blessed routine.
It wasn't an easy one for me to make. Mums constantly feel responsible for their children's well being in every aspect. And Ian always prefers me over everyone else (which I secretly enjoy! Haha) so I feel even more compelled to consider bringing him there. My gynae Dr Ang told me it's worth the trouble cos "you'll have lots of memories of that first trip"....
However for my husband, it was a straightforward decision. It was from one Sunday when we brought Ian to church with us and he couldnt sit still for even half a minute. And another time when we brought Ian to dinner with friends at Seafood Paradise, and he couldnt sit still for even half a minute, where Ian also sucked Glenn's iPhone and where Ian dipped his hand into the mango pudding, spilling half of it and smearing the residue on his clothes. Glenn concluded that Ian will be staying put in Singapore with his grandparents.
Actually, the most important consideration was that I know Ian will be well taken care of for that 3 days. By his doting grandparents, by my responsible helper, and most of all, by God Himself who is the One behind the scenes even when I'm around. This blessed and comprehensive support we have really freed us to go ahead.
Of course, every night we end up missing Ian, scrolling through our iPhones' photo albums and videos from 1st to last. Rarely do I look forward to heading home from a holiday. I kept imagining how Ian will react seeing me after 3 days' absence - will he squeal in delight or will he cry and chide me for leaving him behind?
That night, settling to bed back at home, I spoke into my little darling's ear "Mummy's back home, missed you so much...Muak." The following morning, he awoke to find both of us back on his left and right, snoozing away as usual. He poked at my back till I woke and upon turning around to face him, he just smiled his wide cheeky Mummy-I-love-you smile. He did the same to Glenn.
And thus we were reunited and life immediately went back to our normal and mundane, but tremendously sweet and blessed routine.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Blessed Unions
I can imagine why people are hesitant - no, more like afraid - about getting married, or even getting committed.
A married couple who have gone through so much together, and together went through the joys of parenting 2 or 3 children even, can still end up broken and wrecked at best. At worst, both parties turn against each other and become mortal enemies fighting over custody, money, property.
It is hurting to hear about it, much more experience it.
For singles coming across such examples so often, there is no reason for them to expose themselves to the same vulnerabilities, is there. Why bother if you know the chances of being hurt are high.
For every broken marriage, there is just not enough happy fulfilling ones to balance off. There is not enough perhaps because people expect happy fulfilling marriages to be perfect (which it never will be). Yet if you settle for anything less, you are resigning yourself to second best, and this will also not turn out to be happy or fulfilling.
I can see why there seems to be many more unhappy unions than happy ones. It is easier to label a marriage as failing or mediocre, than to define what is a good marriage. The definitive good marriage is an elusive idea - we do not know, and will also differ, on our definitions of a good marriage - so only a few types of unions make the cut. Whereas a bad marriage is anything that falls outside this niche.
Even the types of marriage considered as "making it" are with the benefit of hindsight, when the couple is in their silver years.
A friend of mine is going through this excruciating experience of divorcing his wife with whom he has parented 3 young children. As a guy, it is possible to bear the inconveniences and financial costs of a divorce. It is possible to move on from the hurt of falling out with someone he was once close as skin with. It is however extremely painful to know that his 3 children is hereon away from him. He cannot always be there for them in their formative years. He cannot have as much influence over them as their mother can. He stands to be cut off from them if their mother does not play fair.
As I listened to his struggles in this area, I kept thinking of any ways to help. I think only God is able.
In fact, only God is able to keep marriages from becoming mediocre, from falling apart. It is otherwise too hard.
A married couple who have gone through so much together, and together went through the joys of parenting 2 or 3 children even, can still end up broken and wrecked at best. At worst, both parties turn against each other and become mortal enemies fighting over custody, money, property.
It is hurting to hear about it, much more experience it.
For singles coming across such examples so often, there is no reason for them to expose themselves to the same vulnerabilities, is there. Why bother if you know the chances of being hurt are high.
For every broken marriage, there is just not enough happy fulfilling ones to balance off. There is not enough perhaps because people expect happy fulfilling marriages to be perfect (which it never will be). Yet if you settle for anything less, you are resigning yourself to second best, and this will also not turn out to be happy or fulfilling.
I can see why there seems to be many more unhappy unions than happy ones. It is easier to label a marriage as failing or mediocre, than to define what is a good marriage. The definitive good marriage is an elusive idea - we do not know, and will also differ, on our definitions of a good marriage - so only a few types of unions make the cut. Whereas a bad marriage is anything that falls outside this niche.
Even the types of marriage considered as "making it" are with the benefit of hindsight, when the couple is in their silver years.
A friend of mine is going through this excruciating experience of divorcing his wife with whom he has parented 3 young children. As a guy, it is possible to bear the inconveniences and financial costs of a divorce. It is possible to move on from the hurt of falling out with someone he was once close as skin with. It is however extremely painful to know that his 3 children is hereon away from him. He cannot always be there for them in their formative years. He cannot have as much influence over them as their mother can. He stands to be cut off from them if their mother does not play fair.
As I listened to his struggles in this area, I kept thinking of any ways to help. I think only God is able.
In fact, only God is able to keep marriages from becoming mediocre, from falling apart. It is otherwise too hard.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Care group
Finally, after a long while, we visited a care group near our place.
No expectations, I was told. Just be open to share & to receive.
The thing I realised about care group this time round is, I now see that it's really about the people. There is a need for care group so that there is a space for different shapes, sizes and patterns of believers to be in, a place where there is acceptance of views & differences, and a place to share and support on a personal level.
In between experiencing this care group & recalling my previous care group, I concluded that the leaders' sincerity & genuine care is a key, followed by the members' earnest sharing. At least for me, the worship need not be fantastic.
There were times of awkward silences waiting for volunteers to share. There were times of shyness. But what nailed it for me was at the end, when we all prayed together - every square, triangle and polka dot one of us - I could feel the one spirit & the power of being members of Christ's body speaking in faith as one.
Yes, that is the thing about care group.
No expectations, I was told. Just be open to share & to receive.
The thing I realised about care group this time round is, I now see that it's really about the people. There is a need for care group so that there is a space for different shapes, sizes and patterns of believers to be in, a place where there is acceptance of views & differences, and a place to share and support on a personal level.
In between experiencing this care group & recalling my previous care group, I concluded that the leaders' sincerity & genuine care is a key, followed by the members' earnest sharing. At least for me, the worship need not be fantastic.
There were times of awkward silences waiting for volunteers to share. There were times of shyness. But what nailed it for me was at the end, when we all prayed together - every square, triangle and polka dot one of us - I could feel the one spirit & the power of being members of Christ's body speaking in faith as one.
Yes, that is the thing about care group.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Freedom II
As part of the experiment part 2, my parents brought Ian with them to their church this morning. Hubby & I got to sleep in, take our time to wash up, and if not for time, would have caught our regular breakfast at a coffeeshop.
The entire morning I reminisced about our pre-Ian era where we had the freedom to have nothing to do and to drive around looking at houses and the luxury of eating wherever we felt like it.
For the day, I even didn't miss Ian. I felt slightly guilty that despite all the feelings of attachment & joy with him, my old selfishness would prevail....I pushed those thoughts back.
We deliberately ate at a hawker centre. I was even moderately excited.
Then responsibility set in & I just wanted to head home soonest to spend precious weekend time with my beloved son.
I think I might be going into the next phase of mummyhood - after being so closely attached to the point of wanting to be with Ian all the time - I now appreciate more whatever personal or couple time I have and do not mind as much those moments away from Ian.
Perhaps he is becoming more of a handful so it truly becomes tiring. Or perhaps it's just part of the seperation anxiety phase - only the mummy is coming out of it before the sonny. Or, perhaps (most likely rather), God has just been ministering & speaking through to me that it's really alright, Ian will be well taken care of by Abba Himself.
Just as well, because this boy I love so much will come into his own one day. & us, we are just stewards playing a fine balance between our overwhelming love for him & not allowing this love to become over possession.
The entire morning I reminisced about our pre-Ian era where we had the freedom to have nothing to do and to drive around looking at houses and the luxury of eating wherever we felt like it.
For the day, I even didn't miss Ian. I felt slightly guilty that despite all the feelings of attachment & joy with him, my old selfishness would prevail....I pushed those thoughts back.
We deliberately ate at a hawker centre. I was even moderately excited.
Then responsibility set in & I just wanted to head home soonest to spend precious weekend time with my beloved son.
I think I might be going into the next phase of mummyhood - after being so closely attached to the point of wanting to be with Ian all the time - I now appreciate more whatever personal or couple time I have and do not mind as much those moments away from Ian.
Perhaps he is becoming more of a handful so it truly becomes tiring. Or perhaps it's just part of the seperation anxiety phase - only the mummy is coming out of it before the sonny. Or, perhaps (most likely rather), God has just been ministering & speaking through to me that it's really alright, Ian will be well taken care of by Abba Himself.
Just as well, because this boy I love so much will come into his own one day. & us, we are just stewards playing a fine balance between our overwhelming love for him & not allowing this love to become over possession.
Our first date past midnight!
Earlier today, Hubby & I caught the F1 qualifying rounds at the Padang... it was our 2nd year watching it at Padang. I was looking forward not just because I wanted to be part of the action but also because I have an excuse to stay out really late with hubby, to try out if my parents would be able to handle Ian without us around at night.
It didnt matter that this year there wasn't any acts I particularly wanted to catch (like Travis last year, which I couldn't attend). It didn't matter that the Padang grounds were wet and muddy and not like our first year where everyone lounged around on the dry grass. Or that in the end the action was mainly cars zooming past many times making a huge racket and us busy checking our iphones for live updates to read so we would know what's happening.
The date was a good breather as we could take our time to have dinner, walk around slow before and after the event, instead of rushing home as we usually do on our dates. We felt obliged to have supper just to be home as late as we can bear.
The experiment turned out pretty successful! My Dad reported that Ian just woke once at 1am. Although he wailed and looked at our bed (as if looking for us), my Mum only had to feed him 60ml before he went back to sleep. Very coorperative of him. Moves me 1 step closer to deciding to go Taipei without him.
Naturally, we couldn't stop thinking or talking about Ian and even while shopping, wanted to only buy his stuff.
I also saw 2 pregnant ladies hanging out at the party, not caring if they would have to walk alot or if the noise would be too much for their baby inside....I should be more let go for my 2nd baby i guess! In addition we spotted 2 other parents who brought their babies - who were at most 1+ years - to the action. All they had to do was to plonk an oversized set of earcovers and all seem well.
I can't wait to bring Ian to watch F1, or National Day Parade, or golf tournaments and all.
It didnt matter that this year there wasn't any acts I particularly wanted to catch (like Travis last year, which I couldn't attend). It didn't matter that the Padang grounds were wet and muddy and not like our first year where everyone lounged around on the dry grass. Or that in the end the action was mainly cars zooming past many times making a huge racket and us busy checking our iphones for live updates to read so we would know what's happening.
The date was a good breather as we could take our time to have dinner, walk around slow before and after the event, instead of rushing home as we usually do on our dates. We felt obliged to have supper just to be home as late as we can bear.
The experiment turned out pretty successful! My Dad reported that Ian just woke once at 1am. Although he wailed and looked at our bed (as if looking for us), my Mum only had to feed him 60ml before he went back to sleep. Very coorperative of him. Moves me 1 step closer to deciding to go Taipei without him.
Naturally, we couldn't stop thinking or talking about Ian and even while shopping, wanted to only buy his stuff.
I also saw 2 pregnant ladies hanging out at the party, not caring if they would have to walk alot or if the noise would be too much for their baby inside....I should be more let go for my 2nd baby i guess! In addition we spotted 2 other parents who brought their babies - who were at most 1+ years - to the action. All they had to do was to plonk an oversized set of earcovers and all seem well.
I can't wait to bring Ian to watch F1, or National Day Parade, or golf tournaments and all.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Great Manager 101
Jesus was an "on-the-ground" type of leader.
His leadership style is not "top-down", relaying messages through his managers, and He did not hide in his comfortable or private cubicle thinking out macro strategies.
He was always amongst the people who need Him.
He ate at the tax collector's house and interacted with the common people. He stopped for the lowly people like the woman with the issue of blood. He preached to the masses from their midst on the things of heaven, yet was able to identify with their earthly real needs by feeding them with the multiplied 5 loaves and 2 fishes. He gives generously at the joyous wedding with miraculously multiplied wine - and not just any wine but good wine.
When Jesus heals, he does it personally, laying his very own hands on the sick.
When Jesus defends, he does it himself, standing up for the despised prosptitute.
When Jesus corrects his disciples, kindness takes precedence over chiding.
Yet Jesus does not shy away from righting the wrongs of the Pharisees and saves His harsh words for these self-righteous people.
Jesus was a leader of the people and He led by example, taught with kindness and with influence.
When Jesus saves, He saves with His very own life and He overpays.
Shades of a great manager: with the people, and on the ground so opportunities can be seen. Generous with kindness and meeting real needs with actual action, not just with words.
Being there in person.
His leadership style is not "top-down", relaying messages through his managers, and He did not hide in his comfortable or private cubicle thinking out macro strategies.
He was always amongst the people who need Him.
He ate at the tax collector's house and interacted with the common people. He stopped for the lowly people like the woman with the issue of blood. He preached to the masses from their midst on the things of heaven, yet was able to identify with their earthly real needs by feeding them with the multiplied 5 loaves and 2 fishes. He gives generously at the joyous wedding with miraculously multiplied wine - and not just any wine but good wine.
When Jesus heals, he does it personally, laying his very own hands on the sick.
When Jesus defends, he does it himself, standing up for the despised prosptitute.
When Jesus corrects his disciples, kindness takes precedence over chiding.
Yet Jesus does not shy away from righting the wrongs of the Pharisees and saves His harsh words for these self-righteous people.
Jesus was a leader of the people and He led by example, taught with kindness and with influence.
When Jesus saves, He saves with His very own life and He overpays.
Shades of a great manager: with the people, and on the ground so opportunities can be seen. Generous with kindness and meeting real needs with actual action, not just with words.
Being there in person.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Intangible Rewards
There is much to be said about managing people.
When I stepped into the role of a Team Head some years ago, I had many ideas and a great desire to do good and help my people.
Yet as altruistic as I was, all the things I did driven by my good intentions came to not much. Not the late nights, not the pep talks, not the coaching, not the micro managing, and so on...
What a difference being a mother made.
Perhaps it is when I had to go on sudden medical leave during pregnancy that forced me to let go more and trust my team. Perhaps it is my maternal instincts making me go soft....or now having family commitments, I start to empathise more.
Ian - even when he was only in my tummy - already brought me much joy and learning. Now watching him grow so quickly day by day, I see some inkling of how it all ties together.
God is so wonderful... he goes slow with me and teaches me at my level. He doesn't tell me I should I should.... He just gently guides me along. From my struggles managing my team and managing people, to giving me a child I never had the courage to plan for, to placing me back as a Team Head with such a different style, God's is so steady. I myself can feel the difference in my engagement with my people. I feel energized by my interactions with them. I feel satisfied when I fight for them and win for them. I feel honoured being in a position to influence and to guide and to help. I feel happy more than tired.
Occasionally, when times are tough, I imagine like I'm Moses... wanting to help, bring the people out of Egypt, only to be stuck at the Red Sea. But that is where the miracle comes...even while the Egyptian armies are in hot pursuit and closing in, Moses lifted his hands, and the Red Sea comes apart. There and then, in the midst of the troubles, God will show up at just the right time. All I have to do is trust and rest.
Now that I'm on board with God, not questioning him so much on why I should be, or should I be, leading a team, I also feel He is preparing me in my journey as a mummy.
Just as I never thought I would have job fulfillment today as a team head, I had doubts over my ability to bring up my children and thus delayed committing even having them. But today, thanks to my God, I have great caretakers in form of my parents, an ernest maid, a participative husband, a great boss, a reliable biz mgr deputising me...really very grateful...hopefully the learnings I gained as a team manager will help me be a better mother, and vice versa...
Thank you Jesus!
When I stepped into the role of a Team Head some years ago, I had many ideas and a great desire to do good and help my people.
Yet as altruistic as I was, all the things I did driven by my good intentions came to not much. Not the late nights, not the pep talks, not the coaching, not the micro managing, and so on...
What a difference being a mother made.
Perhaps it is when I had to go on sudden medical leave during pregnancy that forced me to let go more and trust my team. Perhaps it is my maternal instincts making me go soft....or now having family commitments, I start to empathise more.
Ian - even when he was only in my tummy - already brought me much joy and learning. Now watching him grow so quickly day by day, I see some inkling of how it all ties together.
God is so wonderful... he goes slow with me and teaches me at my level. He doesn't tell me I should I should.... He just gently guides me along. From my struggles managing my team and managing people, to giving me a child I never had the courage to plan for, to placing me back as a Team Head with such a different style, God's is so steady. I myself can feel the difference in my engagement with my people. I feel energized by my interactions with them. I feel satisfied when I fight for them and win for them. I feel honoured being in a position to influence and to guide and to help. I feel happy more than tired.
Occasionally, when times are tough, I imagine like I'm Moses... wanting to help, bring the people out of Egypt, only to be stuck at the Red Sea. But that is where the miracle comes...even while the Egyptian armies are in hot pursuit and closing in, Moses lifted his hands, and the Red Sea comes apart. There and then, in the midst of the troubles, God will show up at just the right time. All I have to do is trust and rest.
Now that I'm on board with God, not questioning him so much on why I should be, or should I be, leading a team, I also feel He is preparing me in my journey as a mummy.
Just as I never thought I would have job fulfillment today as a team head, I had doubts over my ability to bring up my children and thus delayed committing even having them. But today, thanks to my God, I have great caretakers in form of my parents, an ernest maid, a participative husband, a great boss, a reliable biz mgr deputising me...really very grateful...hopefully the learnings I gained as a team manager will help me be a better mother, and vice versa...
Thank you Jesus!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Supply and demand
Supply, supply... it comes from above.
I had returned to work all energised and raring to go. My May was a rollercoaster high as I eased back into the role I was all too familiar with for the past 2 years - the demanding sales team head.
Only that this time, I went back rounder literally and metaphorically. I was still 6 kg far from my pre-pregnancy weight, so I still had to wear back my pregnant clothes and I couldnt dye my hair and my heels were all too small for my feet.
At the same time, my management style became more "rounded" - not so sharp at the edges, I was softer in my approach, I was more family-friendly, I laughed more, I (think) I am more patient. All these without me trying to. Somehow God made me a mother and also turned me into a better manager.
I enjoyed my team and the role much more than I ever did. Savoured the intricacies of managing people. Relished the new challenges of stepping up to more non-sales areas. I also managed a pumping session a day and make it home to breastfeed Baby by 8pm every night. Along the way my family and I squeezed in a property purchase and a major house-moving.
I have now come to the end of the quarter and staring at a number of challenging cases for each of my team members, the equivalent of Frodo's journey to Mount Doom to destroy the ring. Only that I'm not sure who my Sam is while Gollums seem aplenty.
If my day-to-day mood is plotted on a stock chart, today's price would be an all-time low since IPO (when I returned to work). It's just to tiring to fight on cases that are marginal in itself.
The demands of life.
On such a day, I just lift up my hands in surrender and thank God that all the supplies I need...it comes from above.
I had returned to work all energised and raring to go. My May was a rollercoaster high as I eased back into the role I was all too familiar with for the past 2 years - the demanding sales team head.
Only that this time, I went back rounder literally and metaphorically. I was still 6 kg far from my pre-pregnancy weight, so I still had to wear back my pregnant clothes and I couldnt dye my hair and my heels were all too small for my feet.
At the same time, my management style became more "rounded" - not so sharp at the edges, I was softer in my approach, I was more family-friendly, I laughed more, I (think) I am more patient. All these without me trying to. Somehow God made me a mother and also turned me into a better manager.
I enjoyed my team and the role much more than I ever did. Savoured the intricacies of managing people. Relished the new challenges of stepping up to more non-sales areas. I also managed a pumping session a day and make it home to breastfeed Baby by 8pm every night. Along the way my family and I squeezed in a property purchase and a major house-moving.
I have now come to the end of the quarter and staring at a number of challenging cases for each of my team members, the equivalent of Frodo's journey to Mount Doom to destroy the ring. Only that I'm not sure who my Sam is while Gollums seem aplenty.
If my day-to-day mood is plotted on a stock chart, today's price would be an all-time low since IPO (when I returned to work). It's just to tiring to fight on cases that are marginal in itself.
The demands of life.
On such a day, I just lift up my hands in surrender and thank God that all the supplies I need...it comes from above.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
I'm going back...
To work, that is. Tomorrow, the day after Easter.
When i created this blog I had envisioned writing my bits & pieces everyday, how Baby is growing, what he did, every nuance of my feelings as a new mom.
What actually ensued is far from my expectation. Confinement was a daze of 3 hourly feeds round the clock, napping & watching vcds (to distract myself). It was uncomfortable & tiring, I never had any continuous sleep longer than 3 hours until Baby turned 2 months, when the gap at night lengthened to at most 6 hours, meaning 5 hours of sleep.
In the 2nd month, it was a different sort of discomfort - physically I was feeling fitter & better, but left to face handling Baby on my own now, I was somewhat fearful & unsure. Baby didnt take to my carrying intially, & I had no idea what to do with him when he was awake. Day by day in what seemed like long weeks, the pieces fell into place one by one. I discovered my helper was adept at handling Baby, I managed to set a routine recommended by Babywise book (by God's grace!), I stumbled upon things he enjoys playing, I started my personal training to lose the some 10kg of pregnancy weight...I would say the 2nd month was my most eventful month. I grew to be more confident & morph into the "steady" mom image I had wanted to be.
After the somewhat arduous journey of the 2nd month, the 3rd month seemed to fly by like a breeze! Hubby & I just settled into parenthood & enjoyed our beloved Baby, bringing him swimming, shopping, house-hunting, church, and so on...watching him grow into the 8kg Baby that he is.
& now, the time has come....I am surprisingly not as put off as I thought about returning to work tomorrow. It has been a great rest these 3.5 months & very fulfilling for me. I am quite ready to go back to work & meet the new challenge of being a mom & a sales team head.
Of course, I wouldnt be so eager if not for the support of my parents whom I know will be great at taking care of Baby. I thank God that everything was so smooth & turned out to be such an arrangement. We would not have expected this last May, when I found out I was pregnant.
The other day I went to cut my hair...chatting with my friend, it suddenly struck me how happy I am. Baby is indeed such a gift to me.
When i created this blog I had envisioned writing my bits & pieces everyday, how Baby is growing, what he did, every nuance of my feelings as a new mom.
What actually ensued is far from my expectation. Confinement was a daze of 3 hourly feeds round the clock, napping & watching vcds (to distract myself). It was uncomfortable & tiring, I never had any continuous sleep longer than 3 hours until Baby turned 2 months, when the gap at night lengthened to at most 6 hours, meaning 5 hours of sleep.
In the 2nd month, it was a different sort of discomfort - physically I was feeling fitter & better, but left to face handling Baby on my own now, I was somewhat fearful & unsure. Baby didnt take to my carrying intially, & I had no idea what to do with him when he was awake. Day by day in what seemed like long weeks, the pieces fell into place one by one. I discovered my helper was adept at handling Baby, I managed to set a routine recommended by Babywise book (by God's grace!), I stumbled upon things he enjoys playing, I started my personal training to lose the some 10kg of pregnancy weight...I would say the 2nd month was my most eventful month. I grew to be more confident & morph into the "steady" mom image I had wanted to be.
After the somewhat arduous journey of the 2nd month, the 3rd month seemed to fly by like a breeze! Hubby & I just settled into parenthood & enjoyed our beloved Baby, bringing him swimming, shopping, house-hunting, church, and so on...watching him grow into the 8kg Baby that he is.
& now, the time has come....I am surprisingly not as put off as I thought about returning to work tomorrow. It has been a great rest these 3.5 months & very fulfilling for me. I am quite ready to go back to work & meet the new challenge of being a mom & a sales team head.
Of course, I wouldnt be so eager if not for the support of my parents whom I know will be great at taking care of Baby. I thank God that everything was so smooth & turned out to be such an arrangement. We would not have expected this last May, when I found out I was pregnant.
The other day I went to cut my hair...chatting with my friend, it suddenly struck me how happy I am. Baby is indeed such a gift to me.
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