Tomorrow, I'm going for my first of several business trips around the region. I spent an hour packing for the 2 days trip, and 4 days preparing myself mentally for the 2 days of separation from my son. Even now, I am not fully adjusted.
Yes missing him is a definite, 120% yes.
However, a thought came to my mind earlier, I should try to enjoy the next 2 evenings of 'break', where I can catchup on my book, watch TV, play iPhone games, as much as I want to. Honestly this has a slight appeal, although it doesn't bring me away from my Mummy separation anxiety totally.
I guess 2 days is just enough for a timeout.
What's more, parting is probably an essential part of parenthood. Like sending sons off to NS or overseas studies, or sending daughters off to marry, or leaving them to my parents' good hands while Glenn and I force ourselves to have couple time, or disciplining the children...all these entail doing what we do not want to do, but know we have to. I might as well start learning to manage such emotions now.
I remember when I was DINK (Double Income No Kids), I was adamant that I will NOT revolve my entire life around my child. I WILL have my golf. I WILL make time for my close friends. I WILL have couple time.
It ain't easy at all. But I think I was right, even in my semi anti-kids days.
What I really need to do now is stop being anxious and just let go. Ian is surrounded by my good care from my parents, my helper, and Glenn. I am releasing them to God's capable Hands. I might as well stay at rest, and make the best of my time off.
Let's see how it goes! Whether I'm ready or not, BKK here I come.....
